This isn't any old orgy

I collect some plastic bags from the local supermarket before the orgy, so that the guys have bags into which they put their clothes.

Tesco is my local supermarket, so they usually have the dubious privilege of providing the bags. Someone was asking me if the orgy is sponsored by them.

Their strapline of 'Every little helps' isn't really the message that I want to give, so I've had to reject their offer of sponsorship.

Sainsbury's has a better chance. 'Taste the difference' or 'Try something new today' are both phrases that I could use.

But my favourite is Marks and Spencer. This isn't just an orgy. This is a hand-picked, top-quality orgy!

Perhaps I should have a range of bags and distribute them appropriately, based on first impressions. Will you get the Waitrose bag or the KwikSave one?!

Then there's the beer sponsor. If Carlsberg hosted orgies ...