Post 100! Over and out

Wow - post number 100. Who'd have thought I had so much drivel to spout about an orgy!

Hey, but all good things come to an end and I am sad to announce that there will be no more orgies. All together now - awww.

I've had an absolute blast. When I decided to start having these, I could never have imagined that they would be so successful. I'm proud of the fact that I've organised an orgy that has been so popular. Thanks go, of course, to all the guys who have attended. They have been great.

Again - I could not have imagined that such good looking and sociable guys would be attending.

So why stop them? I'm moving to the Midlands. I don't think that Birminghamorgy would be quite as successful. But never say never.

Thanks guys.

It's my fault as well

Sometimes guys tell me that they have not received the invite - so I now tick the 'notify' option when I send the message on gaydar. When the guys get the message I mark this on the spreadsheet. Another tragic but true fact from Islingtonorgy!


Received : Wednesday 30 May 2007 23:03

hey can i join the groupsex let me know if im in? thanks

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I sent him an invite on Thu 14th June and asked guys to confirm by Fri 22nd June.

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Received : Thursday 28 June 2007 23:49

hey can i still come this saturday? just opend my email and i didnt inform u b4 22nd. thanks
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Sent : Friday 29 June 2007 08:39

You received the gaydar message weeks ago. You did not respond. The orgy is now full.
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Received : Friday 29 June 2007 14:05

im sorry about that.. i though u need to be email not the gaydar messages. can i go there? maybe some people will not turn up. let me know please. i really want to go. if not its okeysmaybe next time. but i really want to please. send me messages. thanks
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Sent : Friday 29 June 2007 18:09

No - it`s full for Sat. You have to respond in order to get in.
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Received : Friday 29 June 2007 21:04

ok thanks maybe next time.. its my fault as well. have fun. see u.


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Received : Wednesday 8 August 2007 02:43

hey!!! how r u? can u send me an invitation for the next party please?
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Sent : Thursday 9 August 2007 14:38

You did not respond to the invite last time. And you now don't have safe sex always on your profile.
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Received : Friday 10 August 2007 00:41

i respond to u lastime but its already full. i always play safe it doesnt mean its not on my profile i do bareback but to tell u honestly im a nurse and im always take care of my health. Anyway if u really dont want me to go. thats fine with me maybe theres reason for that...

Sober thoughts

In the orgy instructions, I ask guys not to arrive drunk. I know it can be tempting - people are a bit nervous and a drink will help.

There was a guy at the orgy on Saturday who seemed to be a bit drunk/high. I didn't really notice on arrival, but it became more noticeable that his behaviour was odd as the evening went on. I don't know if it was drink or if he was high on something.

The point is that it does not add to anyone's enjoyment of an orgy when you are drunk. Either your enjoyment or that of the other guys. His conversation was noticeably odd and commented on by a number of guys, he was spaced out wanking on his own alot and he was very wobbly on his feet. It's not an attractive combination.

I regret not asking him to leave, but for various reasons I did not. I had concerns that he was going to be the last to leave, especially when there were only about 8 guys left on the night. Regrettably, I did something that I haven't done before - I called an end to the evening (people were fairly spent by then) and everyone left.

I'm sure he would have been fine - but I never forget that these people are strangers to me and I didn't want to be on my own with him.

Anyway, I mustn't focus on the negative - it did impact on my enjoyment of the evening, but I really don't think most of the guys attending were especially bothered. At least he didn't throw up!

Worried about pics and vids

Received : Friday 14 September 2007 21:46

hey there might organise a wee trip down to london soon, noticed your profile and it intrigues me, ive had 3sums and a 5sum once (didnt really enjoy the latter as the guys weren't my type, kinda got railroaded into it by my mate) into anything fun, safe and horny, no drugs (poppers at a push but not essential) nothing too wierd, plain vanilla, guys must be good looking (dont really have much of an issue with age, not one of these must be 18-22 only) my stats are 5ft 11" 32/34 waist (bit of a belly but slowly toning up) 38 chest.


another question though, perhaps im being paranoid, but do u not get folk trying to film these things on their phones etc, as i dont want to be caught up in a porn movie. heres my pics, if you think im orgy material get back in touch, if not, the auto response will do, take care

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Received : Friday 14 September 2007 21:48

ps i wont be down in london by 27/10 so im not requesting to be put on list just now, as i might not be able to go. just wondering if i was good looking enough for you. so if there is any orgies in future, i can have my name put on list
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Sent : Friday 14 September 2007 22:32

Hi - watch the profile for future dates and send me a message then (I organise one at a time and don't have a list - over 200 guys have attended, it would be unfeasible!).
No pics or vids. Strip to pants on arrival and then guys are naked - you'd notice!

October orgy stats

There were 27 guys at last night's orgy - details below

67 initially invited (Sept 64)
0 additional invites sent (Sept 6)
38 confirmed (Sept 45)
6 cancelled (Sept 9)
5 non attenders (Sept 5)
27 attended (Sept 31)

25 defined active
33 slim passive/versatile
30 muscled passive/versatile
38 defined active
33 defined versatile
28 slim versatile
24 defined active
30 average passive
23 slim versatile
25 defined versatile
24 defined ???
27 slim passive
28 slim versatile
27 slim versatile
34 muscled ??
37 defined versatile
36 defined active
25 defined ???
27 slim passive/versatile
30 average versatile
32 slim versatile
34 slim versatile
27 slim passive/versatile
39 slim versatile

Results are in

38 guys have confirmed for the October orgy next Saturday. Here are the results!

67 guys invited (Sept - 64)
38 guys have confirmed (Sept - 38)
13 cannot come (Sept - 12)
9 not responded (Sept - 12)
4 have not received the message (Sept - 0)
1 guys email not working (Sept - 2)
2 guys (couple) not interested

The couple who weren't interested any more sent the standard 'no thanks' message in response to the invite - that's a first for me! They had requested an invite and sent their email address, perhaps they'd forgotten?

I send the invites to the email address and to their gaydar profile. On the gaydar message I request notification of when they receive the message.

This way I can monitor who has received the message and who has not (this helps me when guys claim they have not received the message). Four guys have not received the message yet - which is more than usual. I do allow a late response from these guys as it doesn't seem fair otherwise.

The evenings are darker and colder now, which I prefer for the orgies. If we're lucky there might even be a trick or treat!

Read the profile - again!

Two things that annoy me (just slightly - irked rather than annoyed) are embodied in this exchange - chasing a reply to a message after hardly any time (I'm busy!) and not reading the profile - the date is fairly prominent!

Received : Monday 8 October 2007 21:58
can i come

Sent : Monday 8 October 2007 22:08
Hi - thanks for message.
Orgy is vanilla - safe sex, non-smoking. I try to find good looking and sociable guys with the intention of making it sociable as well as sexy. If interested, send an email address and I will add you to the list.
I finalise list and send out invites about 2 weeks before orgy. If interested, it would be good if you have more clear face pics. Cheers

Received : Monday 8 October 2007 22:18
xx@yyy.com I am non smoker, 35, toned, fit, 8"uc versatile, 38c, 30w
when is the next one

Received : Monday 8 October 2007 22:29
did you get my msg

Sent : Monday 8 October 2007 22:38
Thanks (you know you can check if someone has received your message - if it's in sent messages, yes. If not, no).

Anyway - have you read the profile? I assumed yes when I sent details; the date is there.

Received : Monday 8 October 2007 22:43
oh sorry missed that. ok will await your email instruction

The choice

Ok, the decision has been made and I've sent the invites out for the October orgy. It takes ages to decide on the final list and send the invites out. I had 98 suitable guys on the list and I have sent the invite out to 67 guys on that list (with a view to having 25-30 guys on the night).

Once again - sorry if I took your details but did not send an invite. And once again, if you did receive an invite - please confirm by Fri 19th Oct.

Building up the list is a bit of an administrative blur for me. People apply and I make a quick decision based on the pics, profile and message and say yes or no. Guys reply and I stick them on Favourites which means they are on the list. I don't entirely register that the guys are stunning and interesting and amusing.

2 weeks before the orgy I review the list, along with my notes which record the messages, and transfer the details onto a spreadsheet. It's at this point I think, 'Wow - this is amazing!' And at this point I thing, 'Shit, I have to choose 60ish guys'.

On the long list were 7 couples and 32 guys who have been before. This is tricky - I try to ensure half the guys are new and I can't invite 7 couples to the orgy. I should probably hold couple evenings or alumni gatherings.

So, the decision has been made. I've sent the invites. I'm going to sit back and relax. It's over to you.

Curious pornstar

Received : Friday 14 September 2007 00:28
hey
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Sent : Friday 14 September 2007 07:13
Hey, thanks for message - you don't quite fit what we're looking for, sorry. No offence meant, hope none taken.
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Received : Friday 14 September 2007 23:32
fair enuf....dont get y tho...im a pornstar
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Sent : Friday 14 September 2007 23:34
I only invite profiles with safe sex - always, soz. (your age range is also a bit out of sync with this orgy)
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Received : Friday 14 September 2007 23:39
k..iv always done safe but wondered wat was like bb thats all

Notes on an orgy

I keep notes of conversations and about the guys who attended, to help me work out whether to invite them again - and also to help me remember who they were (there's been alot of guys attending!). Most of the guys who attend, I would invite again - some of these notes just remind me why!

Attended May. good guy, bottomed for big cocks and sucked lots

Nice looking, very open and talkative american. Yes.

Attended June 07 - cute, little guy - double fucked XXX with YYY!

Attended 8 Jul Blonde, nice bod, French, sexy

Attended Oct orgy Big cock, got involved. Fucked ZZZ hard!

Powerbottom!

Attended May - stayed till end, left with XXX. Very friendly

Attended Oct orgy Long hair, very slim/hard body Chatted alot in kitchen.

Tall guy - chiselled face. Fucked him!

Really nice Scottish guy - BIG cock. Didn`t wear pants

Of course, there are some guys who I wouldn't invite again!:

Attended 8 July. Posh. Think he didnt take pants off and left early! Don`t invite again.

Slightly creepy! Quiet

Another reminder

Just a quick reminder that I don't use gaydar 'tracks' as an indication of interest in the orgy.

I do see a few profiles looking at the profile on a regular basis - that's cool with me. I hope you're reading the blog too.

Just remember that if you do want to come you need to send a message or I will assume you are an interested window shopper. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Read the profile

>ello
hi
sorry, away from comp
>hey there
>thats cool
>when is the next orgy?
have you read the profile?
>got it
cool
>so what do i need to do to get in?
you said you'd read the profile
>well not all of it!!!

Knowing me, knowing you

One worry that guys have is, what if someone I know is there as well. The first thing to point out is that it is extremely unlikely and doesn't really happen except for guys who have attended other sex parties! There are 30 guys here out of a huge gay population in London.

The second thing is, 'so what?' You are both here, both interested in having sex. Let yourself go and have fun. You don't have to touch the other guy's weiner if you don't want to.

This is an email exchange from 2006 - quite a while ago - when someone did recognise another guy at the orgy.

To: islingtonorgy@hotmail.co.uk

Subject: RE: Islington orgy

Hi , Well what can I say? That was brilliant. Really horny and great fun. I
was quite nervous but still had fun. Didn't really get too involved in
it all but wished i could've been that guy who kept being fucked - wow
he can take it. You are a great host too so thank you. Nice chilled
atmosphere. I think i was hitting the beer to cope with it all...
Thanx again...

Hey, if you ever do that again, i'd be happy to come again if you decide
to ask me mate.

Also, you asked us to tell you if we didn't want to share profiles with
the group. I'm OK with that but there is one guy that i would prefer not
to have my profile. Can we chat about it on here or gaydar so that we
can avoid that please. There's nothing bad that happened but one guy is
0ne of my best friend's new flatmates so i just don't want him to see my
profile. I hope you understand.
He left earlyish...he was the shortish kinda spanish guy....i
don't know his name...
Let me know what you think of that...

Thanks again mate...
BTW really nice guys too...
I haven't stopped smiling...x

From: "Islington Orgy" <islingtonorgy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Islington orgy
Hi,
Thanks for message - glad you enjoyed. I left your name off the list I
sent round (as you have probably seen) - I thought you had said that
before, but maybe I'm imagining that. I think I know the guy you mean - XXX
Watch profile for date of next!
Cheers

To: islingtonorgy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Islington orgy
hi,yeah i think that's the guy. sorry, i'm not trying to be difficult. i
steered clear of him and respected his privacy and he didn't chat to me or
get close to me so he prob didn't realy know how he knew me...i should
just relax...
i'll definitely watch out for the next one...do you send emails around to
past attendees who you want to come again? or is it up to us to keep a lookout...???
catch you soon...
m x

From: "Islington Orgy" <islingtonorgy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Islington orgy
If he did know you, he's probably worried that you will tell his flat mate
that he was here!
I don't send emails, so watch profile for next date.
Cheers

Yeah...i won't worry about it. We were both having a good time so no big deal...Thanks again...looking forward to next date if i am available....

Age limits

Received : Saturday 11 August 2007 00:11

Do I assume you're really strict about age limits?
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Sent : Saturday 11 August 2007 00:14

well, a bit - but 98 is a bit too old soz
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Thanks for your reply.....merely wanted to see if you judge by age or profile.And in fact age is your only criteria!I put my age at 98 for exactly that reason.Hope your orgy goes well


I was trying to be nice! He may not have been 98, but he wasn't far off.

No response

Received : Tuesday 26 June 2007 00:12
hey guys
think ive emailed u before but cant remember your reply.
any spaces left in your orgy for me and my boyf?
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Sent : Tuesday 26 June 2007 16:00
I`ve sent you details twice and you haven`t responded either time! Trust me, you`re not interested!
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Received : Tuesday 26 June 2007 16:08
Thanks for taking the time to send me a message, but I don`t think our profiles match. Good Luck with your search though. This is an Automated Message.
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When guys register an interest, and they are suitable then I send them a bit more info. I ask them to supply me with an email address if they are interested.

Some guys respond - great. Some guys don't - no worries.

The guys who do not respond sometimes ask again at a later date. History has taught me that it is rare for them to respond on this occasion. (I know it's only been a year and a half - but that's history in gay terms).

So I don't send out more info now. If people are interested, they respond the first time.


Received : Friday 13 July 2007 21:50
hey - can i come to ur next party???
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Sent : Saturday 14 July 2007 00:35
Hi - I`ve sent you details previously, but you did not respond.
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Received : Saturday 14 July 2007 00:37
oh shit, sorry - i definitely want to come - can u send again pls?
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Later that year ....

Received : Friday 7 September 2007 19:39
hey; hope things r good with u.
i messanged u a while age and u said i would go on the list for the next party - but i didnt hear anything about the sept 1 orgy.
can i come to the next one in oct???
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Sent : Friday 7 September 2007 19:48
Hi - I think you mistook:
'Sent : Saturday 14 July 2007 00:35 Hi - I`ve sent you details previously, but you did not respond.' for 'u said i would go on the list for the next party - but i didnt hear anything'
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Received : Friday 7 September 2007 19:49
oh whoops, my mistake. sorry. what do u reckon about me coming next time???
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It's not complicated! If you are interested, respond to any message I send you. Even if you cannot make the next one, just tell me that!


Received : Friday 29 June 2007 20:52
hey mate! i can confirm for tomorrow but still didn`t received your address!
ould you send it for me plz! thanks
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Sent : Friday 29 June 2007 20:57
I did not send you an invite. You did not respond to the message I sent.
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Received : Saturday 30 June 2007 11:40
Hi! i don`t know to which message should i respond, as far as i remember on the previous one i said i am not yet sure if i can attend!
Would be nice to have some extra fun,but if this means go trough a complicate maze as the tax office burocracy for this reason maby we are unable to sort the matter out!
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Unsociable and sexy

Sent : Saturday 13 January 2007 23:59
Most people say, ` Can I come along please` or lines to that effect.
Your lines are:

`Add me to ur list`

Followed up by:

`Yes/No`
The orgy I run is a friendly place where people have conversations as well as sex. I don`t think you would fit in.

Received : Sunday 14 January 2007 00:02

u had me on the list a while ago, and then i went away, thought u would remember, the add me to ur list was a simple reflection that i am back in town, but then u did not respond and the next msg followed.

sorry to have caused offence

Sent : Sunday 14 January 2007 00:14

I have no record of you being on the list for any of the orgies.

Sociable AND sexy?

So how do I try and ensure that the guys who attend are sociable?

I don't want to be in my own home and feel awkward with the guys there. I want to have sex with the guys and then relax and have a chat. And then have more sex - etc, etc.

I'm not succesful with all the guys. I remember at the first orgy there was a guy there who didn't seem to interact with many guys at all. In fact, he was a bit creepy - although good looking.

There are 3 things I use to gauge sociability:

Profile

This is the main thing. Does the guy have something written in their profile which portrays them as a nice guy? There are plenty of good looking guys on gaydar, but would I want to meet up with them?

Chat

I don't chat with the majority of guys - as I have said before, I am away from the computer most of the time. But if I'm here then I will chat with guys.

There are people who start with 'Hi'. I reply with 'Hi' and they don't say anything else! No, you're not coming you creepy guy.

Messages

Although I don't 'chat' with most guys - there is an exchange of messages with the guys who apply. You may have worked out from the blog that I paste these message exchanges to 'notes' to refer to in the future.

If a guy is interested then I ask them to send me an email address and I will add them to the list. Lots of guys then reply with another@hotmail.co.uk with nothing else. No 'thanks', no 'I'm looking forward to it'. As an indication of whether we will get on, I take that as a no!



It's not just for my benefit - it's for the benefit of all the guys at the orgy. It makes it more enjoyable for all and thankfully, with these completely unscientific methods, it seems to have worked to date.

Make an effort

Following up on my last post - you can see how difficult it is to get clear face pics sometimes. Am I being unreasonable?

hi therre

how are you?

chatted a while back

hi

id be really interested in orgy if still availabilituy

I'm cool ta

Ok - could you send some more clear face pics

and who are you in the pic on your profile?

3rd from left

i dont have any pics on profile

could i send any by mobile

no - message here or email

islingtonorgy@hotmail.co.uk

do you like pic on profile

can i be put on list and will get a photo to you in meantime

it's not till 27 Oct - so you have a while!

cool

so am i on list

no - I mean you have a while to send some clear face pics

oh right will sort some out - not sure how

Multimedia orgy

You'd think it would be simple - just send me a couple of clear face pics to the profile or email address.

Many guys tell me that they don't have any clear face pics, could they send a pic to my mobile or do I have webcam?

hi fit lad 29 good looking genuine can send clear phone pics would really like to attend next session if possible ... great that some one takes the time to sort something like this out 0XXXXXXXXX8

In a previous post, someone noted that I don't give out my mobile phone number:

Mr O didn't give us his mobile number, so there was no opportunity for last minute cancellation (or, I guess, drunken early morning phone calls months later).

He's right - I already have loads of numbers in my phone and no idea who they belong to. Can you imagine the messages I'd be getting (and the calls!) apologising for not turning up, asking to come etc - I'd need to get an orgy phone!

I'm certainly not giving my number to guys so that they can send me 'clear' face pics. I say no and I'm sure they won't be texting me thanks. What good looking guy doesn't have some decent pics of themselves online somewhere to send?

What about webcams? I find it embarrassing enough saying no to guys who have sent their best face pics. I'd be more embarrassed after a webcam chat (I know - I'm weak). Additionally, I really don't have the time to webcam everyone who wants to, so not a habit I'm going to get into.

You'll just have to bear with my luddite habits and send a good old fashioned photo - and by that I don't mean a photo of you 20 years ago ;)

As if

It's been a while since I received a good, old-fashioned pissed off message. Now wait for the corresponding blog comment ...

Received : Monday 17 September 2007 21:39
send me a invation sounds a good fucking time

Sent : Tuesday 18 September 2007 06:58
Hey, thanks for message - you don't quite fit what we're looking for, sorry. No offence meant, hope none taken.

Received : Tuesday 18 September 2007 19:07
i dont fit wat u all load of old fat men who are married with little dicks the wife do s not want fucking joke mate and dont use pics from amag as if

Girls Aloud

Now here's a question I haven't been asked before.



where is it?

it's in my flat in islington

kl

how many guys will b there

between 20-30

k

any women?

no

kl

so none are allowed

or they are but none are coming so far?

i've never had any apply to date

ok

so do u have 2 do anal or can u just suck

you don't have to fuck

i jus wana suck guys off



Are women allowed? Well, it's not something that I've considered really. Am I allowed to ban women under current discrimination laws?

No girls have yet applied. I'll consider them along with all other applicants when the time arises!

What happens?

You say there were 25 guys at your last orgy. If the orgy goes on for 4 hours you can spend about 10 minutes with every guy. Is that what happens, or do you just shag the guys you fancy the most? I mean: With how many of the 25 guys would you expect to have sex?

Alot of people ask what happens at the orgies and some comment that I don't really describe the orgies in the blog.

I discussed this with some guys at the June orgy and we agreed that it would be very difficult to describe events. If there are 25 guys at the orgy then there are going to be 25 different experiences and 25 unique stories. Perhaps, I should get all the guys who attend to describe their evening and then I will be able to work out who was with who during the evening.

A video would help I suppose but that's just not going to happen - sorry guys!

The comment which I have reproduced above made me smile. The thought of everyone getting 10 minutes with everyone else sounds quite fun, doesn't it? Ten minute speed shagging and you tick the list of guys you like - it would certainly be an exhausting evening.

Yes, some guys do pair off at times, but this is an orgy and the flat isn't that big. They will tend to be joined by others after a bit and things ebb and flow between a huge group at the beginning to smaller gatherings later on. There's usually a group of guys in the kitchen during the evening but that tends to be the relaxing, drinking corner.

A guy who came to the September orgy sent me thanks and noted that he couldn't get round everyone he wanted to!
you had some really fitties there, ( not saying you didn't on my first one but you know what i mean). didn't get to play with all the lads i wanted but hey just cos its an orgy don't mean you can have everyone you want, even if there was time!

How many of the guys would you expect to have sex with? It depends how mobile you are in the evening! Sometimes it feels like I've been around most guys, but then will look at the list and think, wow - I don't remember much about you!

So you make your own story here. You have sex with as many or as few people as you like. And there's always the next chapter to look forward to.

Paradox

I get queries about the type of guy who attends the orgy. My answer is almost always the same; 'good looking guys, 18-40, slim/def/musc. Guy next door is the general look. I try to find guys who come across as sociable'

Are the guys cute? Are they good looking? What do you mean by 'guy next door'?

I answer these as best as I can, but defining what I consider to be 'good looking' is a difficult task. Can you define it?

I can honestly say that the guys who attend ARE good looking guys (in my humble opinion) and I think my answers tend to satisfy these anxieties. 'Those are my criteria' said a guy the other day.

Once I have addressed their concerns and they send their own pics, it is sometimes the case that these are the criteria they look for in other people, not necessarily the criteria that apply to themselves.

There are no pictures of this orgy or the guys who attend, so I recognise that it is difficult to gauge the standard of the guys who attend. I can only reiterate two points - the guys who come are good looking and applications are welcome from all (just remember that I may say no!).

Notes and reminders

OK - it never ends, the next orgy is on Sat 27th October. This is the night that the clocks go back one hour - so an extra hour of orgy goodness (or an extra hour of clearing up - depending on what time it ends!)

I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you guys out there of a couple of things if you want to attend:

• Notes to all

I am away from the computer MOST of the time. Chat is not a good way of communicating with me. It is best if you send me a message to register your interest. I try to respond to most messages.

I'm sure people know this - but you can check to see if someone has read a message by looking to see if it is in your 'sent' messages. If it has not been read then it will not appear here. Use this before you send me a message complaining that I have not responded to your message (which you sent 2 hours ago!).

• If you have been before

Remember that you need to apply to every orgy that you want to come to. I was chatting to a guy who had been before and asked why he wasn't coming to the September orgy. He told me that he didn't realise he had to ask.

There have been too many guys attending in the past for me to send invites out to each of them. I do remind guys in the post orgy message that they should apply for future orgies if they want to come.

• If you have not been before

1. Please ensure that you have clear FACE pics in your profile or attached to a message. As a general rule, if I am more likely to pick you out from a crowd because of your ass or cock, you have got the balance wrong. In fact, cock/ass pics aren't even needed!

My rule of thumb is -could I pick you out in a crowd? And secondly, would I pick you out in a crowd!

2. If you are interested, then communicate with me. If you register interest and I send you a message, don't just ignore it. If you do, then I will assume that you are not interested (which is absolutely fine). When you message me 3 months later asking for an invite I will not send more details.

That's it for now. Starting to fill up - as always it starts with those who have been before (and I start to think that no-one new will be coming!) but over time the balance corrects itself. I am always fairly consistent in having half new and half 'old'. Enjoy the rest of Summer and see you at the beginning of Winter!

The good guys

I've talked about Saturday's orgy in the last couple of posts. Typically, I've been talking about the lows - the last minute cancellations and the unexpected guests.

I shouldn't forget the majority of the guys, who apply, confirm, turn up and have a great time. And even send thanks!

hey - last time was was amazing, this time was better. thanks again for a dogs bollocks party and for being such a welcoming, uninhibiting and caring host to all!

Just wanted to say a big thanks for organising last night. I left at about 10.20, did come to say thanks then, but you were kinda a little busy, so to speak.Appreciate your hospitality, welcomeness (if dats a word) and you obviously have a knack of spotting nice genuine lads, good skill.

Hi! Just wanted to say...what an awesome evening!! Thanks so much for the invite. Was really nervous at first and didnt expect it to be sociable!! Everyone was really nice and have made a couple of new friends!!I hope the cleaning up wasnt too bad!! Take care and hopefully see you again at the next one if im invited.

Thanks for a really great night - enjoyed every single minute. I tried to chat before I left but you were "otherwise engaged" - I am sincerely sorry - I knocked a bottle of poppers over in your bedroom, but even by the time I had mopped it up, the room just reeked - I cannot apologise enough!!!!

More excitement from the orgy

I had a first on Saturday (not a sexual one!). Someone turned up who was not invited.

He turned up when there was only two of us there (so my backup that if someone turns nasty then I have 30 guys to help me wasn't going to work!). I'm not going to start letting people attend when they haven't been invited; it would be chaos. I told him this and we had a debate about our prior communications.

He initially asked to come to the May orgy:

Received : Friday 20 April 2007 09:13 Hi there
Your orgy plan sounds hot... I am a german guy who justttt moved to London. Let me know if you want me to join you guys ;)
Cheers mate

I sent him an invite, but he did not respond to it.

Two days before the June orgy he then asked if he could attend:


Received : Thursday 28 June 2007 21:30 Hi!
How are you? ia m back in London and it would be great if i could come for the Saturday`s orgy as i missed the one in April. I know its full but may be you do make some exceptions for the foreigners new in london looking for friends ;-)
Cheers mate

Sent : Thursday 28 June 2007 21:36 Hi - you did not respond to the invite sent in May.

Received : Thursday 28 June 2007 21:41 I don't know why I would not have responded but really interested in coming.

Sent: Thursday 28 June 2007 21:49 I don`t know why you did not respond but I don`t send invites to those who don`t.



So he had my address from the May orgy invite. He had been communicating with me - but through chat and I am usually away from the computer so it was sporadic.

On Saturday afternoon, after buying condoms, I returned to find a chat window where he said he was looking forward to attending and was just leaving! By the time I responded in chat, he had gone. I didn't really think he would turn up.

He left without any bother thankfully. I'm not setting a precedent of letting in guys who have not been invited to that specific orgy.

Thankfully, no-one died or turned out to be an undercover documentary crew!

Sept 1st orgy

31 guys attended the orgy last night. A great bunch of guys - very sociable, everyone seemed to stay a long time which is always cool. Here are the details:

64 initially invited (June 61)
6 additional invites sent (June 9)
45 confirmed (June 41)
9 cancelled (1 on Tue, 1 on Thu, 2 on Fri, 5 on Sat) (June 5)
5 non attenders (June 5)
31 attended (June 31)

31 slim active/versatile
34 defined passive
25 slim versatile
25 defined active
30 defined ???
37 defined active/versatile
28 defined versatile
30 slim active
26 defined passive/versatile
38 muscled versatile
27 slim ???
26 average active
24 defined active/versatile
27 slim passive
35 defined passive
24 slim passive
27 ??? Active/versatile
26 slim passive
27 slim versatile
32 defined versatile
34 muscled ??
25 defined ??
32 defined active
38 defined active
29 defined Active/Versatile
31 average versatile
35 defined versatile
24 slim passive/versatile
29 defined active
29 average active/versatile

I was hoping for a relaxing Saturday, preparing for the orgy - but last minute cancellations meant that I was looking round for a few more guys. I sent 6 additional invites in the end.

It's a little annoying as for the last fortnight I've been swamped by last minute requests from really nice guys. But hey, I prefer guys to cancel than just not turn up.

I was feeling a little narked at having to find more guys (obviously, I could just be satisfied with less than 30 guys being here - but I am a little greedy :0) when I should have been out buying condoms. My mood wasn't helped by two guys who had been before asking if they could have last minute invites and then pulling out later in the afternoon!

So I ask for forgiveness at my grumpiness with this guy. I would usually be understanding, but I just wanted to finalise numbers. Sorry.

hi...a couple more spaces?

Hi - thanks for message. Orgy is vanilla - safe sex, non-smoking. I try to find good looking and sociable guys with the intention of making it sociable as well as sexy. If interested, send an email address and I will add you to the list.Cheers www.islingtonorgy.blogspot.com

thanks, enjoy reading your blog. You have a fun sense of humour. My email is XXX ...a bit nervous to be perfectly honest, but we'll see if I get up the courage...

Don't tell me you're not sure at this point! The orgy is tonight and I'm finalising numbers after cancellations! You should watch for future dates and message me then when you've thought about it and are certain. Cheers

ok, thought about, read more of the blog and I'll come if it's not too late. Thanks anyway and sorry for messing about if it is...

Hey, I've filled it now. Sorry to be touchy - I should be cleaning and buying today rather than finding new people. Watch for future dates. Cheers

Fuck me - I'm famous

Hey, u still having those orgies? Bloody hell

if they were shit I would stop having them

I'd be interested in going but...

I'd be worried the time I went there'd be an undercover documentary crew or someone would croak and I'd be in the middle of an inquest....

it only happens every couple of orgies

you may have seen the channel 5 documentary

Holy crap - u serious?!

About Channel 5 ...

It was called Fuck me - I'm famous

Brian from big brother came and brought a film crew

Em....I haven't had a tv for a while till recently ... but I would've read about it .... irish poofy guy Brian? Ha ha, erection rapidly disappears

we weren't allowed erections as it was going to be on tv

They're still banned right?

tell me, are you really worried about undercover crews and people dropping dead?

or is there a real reason you would be worried?

Not 'out' so I'd be worried my partaking in your event would be exposed in the Daily Mail or a trashier tabloid. Chances would be slim of someone falling off their perch, right, unless it was an oap night...but I like the fantasy aspect maybe, but maybe not being exposed as a gay. See what I have to live with/Ain't easy being me

there would be nowhere for a photographer to hide! It's at my flat and we're not breaking the law.

if the cops busted in, could u pretend I'm your cousin or something and just crashed at your place for the night

that's fine as long as my cousin isn't staying over

I don't think you're ready for an orgy at this point of embracing your sexuality!

Well, I have a reckless streak...and I tend to dive right into things, perhaps also a group of hot, naked guys getting it on in your apartment

Do guys pair off or are there bigger sessions, do they all go to bedrooms?

It takes place in the bedroom and lounge, with the kitchen for chilling - there's a combination of guys all over really

Sometimes do u think 'I cannot freaking believe this I'm in my own porn fantasy'?

well, if it was filmed (which it is not) then it would definitely be a best seller

Please believe me

hi
hi
how r u??
cool, u?
im good
ar4e u planing a orgy?
next Sat, but full for then
can i go?
jejej
watch for future dates and message me then if interested
yes
but can i go to this orgy?
no, it's full
:(
come on
:(
if someone cancel?
I have 38 confirmed, I aim for 20-30 guys, so I build in cancellations
see blog, it goes through all the stats
but can I go???
yup?
??
um, no because it is full
as I've said
mm

Sept orgy - confirmations

38 guys have confirmed for the September 1st orgy. That should result in 25-30 guys attending on the night, so definitely full for next Sat.

64 guys invited (June - 61)
38 guys have confirmed (June - 32)
12 cannot come (June - 10)
12 not responded (June - 18)
0 have not received the message (June - 1)
2 guys email not working (June - 0)

As an illustration of what I was talking about in the 'You'll never guess' post, one guy who did not respond to the invite had sent me a few messages saying how much he was looking forward to it - I kept a couple:

hi there well i would very much like to be included in your next meet. Im always horny and up for it. I have never been to an orgy before and am absolutly gagging for it.. Im a bright sociable guy slim, tight ass passive always have a hard cock. Let me know what you think. x

very interested would be reaaly good.

really want you to fuck me at your orgy! x

In the end, it comes down to whether you confirm or not. And of course turning up on the night is a big part of it as well! See you there.

Tell it like it is

Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:07 Hi, how are you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:08 I'm cool ta. Hope u r too
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:08 I'd like to attend your next event!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:09 Invites have now been sent, sorry!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:10 I guess you don't want me at your orgy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:15 Are you still there?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:17 yes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:19 After the 1st of September, when is your next event?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:20 I don't know - I organise them one at a time. Keep an eye on the profile. Cheers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:23 Apparently you don't want me to attend your events lol
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:26 It's full for Sept. I don't know when the next one is. You were invited to May. What else can I say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:34 I wished I could have attended your May event.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:44 Apparently you don't like my profile ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Wednesday 15 August 2007 23:49 I guess that you don't want me to contact you again ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I say what I mean. If I don't think someone is suitable, I say so. If the invites have gone out then I say that. I went to bed at half past eleven.

Incidentally, here is our communication regarding the May orgy:

Received : Saturday 7 April 2007 01:32 Hi, how are you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Saturday 7 April 2007 01:35 Hi, I`m cool ta!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Saturday 7 April 2007 01:38 your profile is very interesting. Would be nice to take part in your orgy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Saturday 7 April 2007 01:44 [I sent him some details and he responded and went onto the list]
It`s very kind of you. I long to take take part in it. I`ve never done more than a threesome lol
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I then sent out the invites on 28th April and asked guys to respond by Sat 5th May for the orgy on Sat 12th May
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Received : Thursday 10 May 2007 00:08 Hi, how are you? I`ve just got your e-mail....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent : Thursday 10 May 2007 07:44 You received the gaydar message over a week ago, but did not respond!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sept 1st invites sent

Hey - sorry it's been so long since the last blog. I've been a bit rushed lately.

I knew I had to send the invites out last Wednesday (15th Aug) so I finalised the invite list on Tuesday and then on Wednesday, gaydar was offline. Thankfully it came back online in the evening, so I managed to send the invites out - but no time to post to blog.

Enough of my lame excuses.

This month I had 91 guys on the longlist and I have sent the invites out to 64 of them. As always, a hard choice. Lots of active guys on the long list list this time so had to get a good mix in the invite list.

If you have received an invite, you need to respond by this Friday - Fri 24th Aug.

As always, lots of requests come in soon after I send the invites out. Sorry guys, watch for the next date and get in early.

I'll let you know the stats on Sat.

Full Disclosure

I have tried to put lots of information on my gaydar profile. With the blog too, I think that anyone who is interested in Islingtonorgy has a huge amount of information to draw upon.

I get alot of people asking me if I could provide them with more information about the orgy. What more information can I provide? I'm happy to answer any specific questions that individuals have - but hopefully people have a look at the profile and blog first.

Received : Saturday 28 July 2007 10:04 please keep me posted

Sent : Saturday 28 July 2007 10:34 The profile and blog should keep you as posted as you need to be!

If only everyone who applied had as much information on their profiles!

An inconvenient time

I organise the orgies one at a time. If someone can't make the next date then I ask them to keep an eye on the profile and message me if they can make the next one.

Some guys get really annoyed when I say I hold them every 6-8 weeks, saying I should hold them more often.

I'm a bit lost for words when that happens - it's unbelievable on so many levels. Hold your own if you want them held at your convenience!

This guy was fine about it, but I was just waiting for him to get arsey. I think I've started to assume the worst about people!

hey

hi

hi sorry to bother you..first time on the chat and just clicked to your username - then i opened the profile which i need to say would like to attend some time ..

ok - you can attend on 1 sept then?

no sorry..i m leaving on holiday the 31st of august just a day before and i ll e back on 9th september...is my profile ok to join the next one?

yeah - watch profile for next date and message then

that's cool i guess you have fun these nights

do you do it every month?

yeah, they're always fun

every 6-8 weeks

why not sooner?

other things to do

ok! hope i match - physical appearance with other guests - keeping myself fit on the gym but hope to look ever better since i ll have another 8 weeks time. do i need to send also naked pics as well? You have checked my profile right?

no naked pics needed, face pics get the invites

that's great - i ll be happy to accept one then for your next one..!

cool - well, send a message when next date advertised

cool!

List of participants

I try to make it clear in the profile that I do not send out the list of guys who are coming - either on the long list, the invite list or the confirmed list. If you have seen the stats you will know that it is difficult to predict who will eventually turn up at the orgy on the night.

All I can say is that there will be 20-30 good looking guys on the night.

Of course, just because I say something on the profile does not mean that individuals aren't expecting to receive a list of guys:



would be great if i have the invite and give me list too

Cheers - I don`t give out the list of guys before the orgy (see profile). Let me know if you are still interested.

... no response...



I don't give out a list of guys coming because I would not want to be included in such a list myself. Alot of the guys who come have not been to an orgy before or at least are not regular orgy goers! I think alot of guys are looking for a high quality orgy which is also discreet - and I hope that is what I provide.

Some of the guys who have been have said that they don't mind if I give out their profiles - but it has become a matter of principle for me. I have never given out a profile name to anyone and i never will, no matter how much people plead with me. I hope that the people who want to come feel that they can trust in my discretion and in my ability to pick great guys for the orgy.

Hopefully by making this clear, I avoid guys who just want to have a look at the lists. Yes, I'm sure that if I did give out the lists that many more people would apply. But the drop out rates would be alot higher and I get quite enough messages as it is!

Do you have places left?
yeah - i build long list till 2 weeks b4 and then finalise list
hmm
hmm?
hmm. how do i signal my interest?
have you read the profile?
kind of, but then there were so many words i lost interest. i'm an english grad so I've read far too many already
ah, there are more to come later on if an invite were to arrive
and how would that happen you litle tease?
Here's a highlight from the profile:
Have clear face pics. Either on your profile or sent in an email or message
Let's be honest - I'm up for fit 20sth not fattening 30sth - am i in the right place?
you can see the ages of the guys who came to the last one on profile
you know what i mean tho
the guys who come are good looking and sociable
XXX has quit chat

You're going to have to trust me. I get a huge number of messages. I pick good looking and (as far as i can tell) sociable guys. You'll have a blast!

True lies

Hello, I've read some bits of your blog and found it interesting and, to be honest, a little bit - I can't quite think of the right word - dishonest I suppose. You devote quite a lot of space to describing the reaction from disgruntled refuseniks to your parties. Are you sure you don't get some sort of gratification from dishing out the red cards and then recording the angry response in such detail? I may of course be quite wrong and talking bollocks, in which case please accept my apologies in advance! x

Is the blog dishonest? It's an interesting question - an aspect of which I have been thinking about recently.

In terms of the information and the messages/conversations that I relay here, it is completely honest. I do edit slightly the information to protect identities of individuals.

Do I try to provoke a response in order to document it? No, I try to turn people down politely in messages or in chat. I do use a 'standard' message when turning down guys:
Hey, thanks for message - you don't quite fit what we're looking for, sorry. No offence meant, hope none taken.
Not the most fluent of messages, but I'm really not trying to upset people and I still feel guilty turning them down. (Now I have posted this, I suppose I may as well use the standard turn down message - but I've come to realise that a huge number of guys applying have not actually read the blog.)

This is a fairly innocuous message, but not impolite - therefore the rude responses that I receive would always amaze me - which was one of the reasons that I decided to start a blog (it's not something I can share openly with others!). I learnt to see the funny side of the responses, and hoped that others would too.

In the conversations that I have posted here, you will notice that after I have said 'no', I don't really say that much - I get alot of messages and try to deal with each quickly. However I do answer peoples questions - I don't like to ignore people.

I admit that there are times when I can be brusque (I call it business like - others have called it rude), this is only when people are being deliberately obtuse or time wasting.

However - do the conversations and messages that I post here represent the interactions that I have with the vast majority of guys? Definitely not. And in that respect, the blog probably is dishonest.
It may give the impression that organising this orgy is a constant world of strife. It's not.
The vast majority of guys I turn down don't respond rudely - in fact many are very understanding. I have amusing conversations with guys, interesting exchanges and regular banter. There are lots of great guys on gaydar and I have alot of fun in talking to these guys and hosting the orgy.

So that's what I have been thinking about - should I reflect the high points more in the blog? I shall try.
The trouble is, the messages that I have been receiving from people have been commenting that the conversations/messages are the most amusing bits (rather than my random thoughts), which is why I have been reflecting these in the blog recently.

Readers thoughts are welcome!

Short and sweet

hey

hi

are you holding an orgie t2night

no

oh

Thanks but no thanks

People respond to a 'no' in very different ways. I've noticed a couple of coping mechanisms that people have to deal with it.

A common one is replying to my 'no thanks' message with the automated message - you know the one:

Thanks for taking the time to send me a message, but I don`t think our profiles match. Good Luck with your search though. This is an Automated Message.

I get this quite a lot - it always makes me smile. I guess they feel that they have turned me down rather than the other way round.

I very rarely use this automated message myself unless the guy has completely ignored my profile.


Another common reply is, 'I'm too good for you anyway' or even, 'I never wanted to come in the first place'. Here are some examples of responses I've had when I say no:

no mate . ill do better pics, as I`ve a fit defined body, tanned and looking good guys tell me, with areal thick cock, so you need to see that, no problem, Ill try another time with hot pic of me. so many guys use touched up pics and other guys photos, not me, Im cool, not a problem, as cant keep up with my mesg on here any how, so have fun guys. see ya.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

queens don`t turn me on anyway.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i don`t mind... i get loads of very hot guys - mostly in their mid-20s to early 30s, and have good groups here, so not fussed.have fun !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And of course the one I get the most:

It's your loss

A few more questions

A couple more questions that people have asked - from the common to the curious.

Hi. I find the idea of an orgy a big turn on but think it would scare me a little. How do you keep it safe and how do you know there won`t be trouble?

Hi - ok, there`s a bit on the blog about your questions, but specifically:

How do you keep it safe?

I think it`s about the tone that is set. I only invite guys with safe sex - always on their profile and emphasise the safe sex aspect on the profile. blog and invite. I think the guys that come here (like the vast majority of gay men) expect safe sex and would be shocked by anyone who wasn`t practicing it.

How do you know there won`t be trouble?

I invite guys with some sort of description on their profiles. This is no guarantee of ensuring that trouble makers don`t turn up - but it is a sure fire way of ensuring that they would be outnumbered hugely. I`m not really sure what could happen. Someone getting overly drunk? Well, it happened last time - see blog - but no trouble, just inconvenience. I`ve been lucky with the guys who come - sexy and sociable and the atmosphere has been thoughtful and sexy. More of a summer of Love than a Winter of discontent.


He didn't respond to this. I'm sure he wanted to thank me for replying to his queries!


Hi mate i'd love to try iy out. would love to get an invite?let me know so i can get a flight organised.matt

This guy lived overseas! I do get people travelling a bit of a distance to attend, but booking a flight!? I would be too anxious about them having a good time - what if they hated it!?


2 guys one 6.5 inch and one 3 inch would love to attend , can you gaurantee that some of the guys will laugh at the tiny guy here,as best you can.

I could not guarantee this and therefore thought it best not to invite this couple.

A couple of questions

People ask a range of questions, some are typical and some are a bit more unusual.

A couple of common questions are:

• Can I just watch?
• Do I have to fuck or get fucked?

The short answer is 'No' to both of these - but here are specific responses to these questions:

Received : Tuesday 8 May 2007 01:50

Hi there, forgive me if I am repeating what you must hear 1000 times but I read the profile and love the sound of the meets. The problem is I am new to the scene and have never even seen an orgy let alone taken part. What are the rules in terms of some one coming along and not taking part the first time? I would love to get involved so any advice would be really appreciated. xxM

Sent : Tuesday 8 May 2007 18:40

Hi, thanks for your message. Guys who come would be expected to want to take part and get involved. The guys who throw themselves into it are the ones who have the best time. I get too many applications, and have to turn too many down, to afford to invite someone who doesn`t want to take part. Sorry. Your message would indicate that you probably wouldn`t enjoy it - you`ve got to walk before you run (as they say!)

Received : Friday 13 July 2007 14:07

i really love sucking cock, but dont really get fucked/ fuck often, would that rule me out of ur orgy?

Sent : Friday 13 July 2007 19:54

Hi - you don`t have to fuck, and not everyone does (I don`t really monitor!). I just ask that everyone gets involved. Let me know if you want to come. Cheers

Received : Sunday 15 July 2007 00:36

sounds cool, will have to get back when ive got my work schedule

You'll never guess

If someone is suitable for the orgy, I send them a message with some details and request an email address if they are interested.

My best estimate is that 75% of guys respond with an email address and so get onto the long list.

Once i send the invite, the response rate to that is about 50%. I mark profiles who have not responded to the initial message or the invite with an unhappy face, so that I can keep track if someone asks again. (There are currently 427 profiles marked like this!).

I don't mind people not responding. I have to say no to alot of profiles, so I'm happy when I get a no from someone else. I prefer enthusiastic attendance to forced participation!

I've given up trying to predict who will respond to the message or invite and who will not. A profile of an exceptionally handsome guy will say yes and a profile which I was unsure about will say no.
Guys who have messaged me before the invites are sent, saying how excited they are about coming, will not respond and guys who are a bit muted in their communications will respond.

However, looking back at some of the profiles which have not responded, I am sometimes surprised - firstly, that I said yes in the first place and secondly that they didn't jump at the chance!

Orgy. Islington orgy

Those who know me a bit will know that I don't spend many weekends in London.

I am here this weekend though - due to the ridiculous rain around the country. A friend of mine drove from Reading to Birmingham on Friday - left at mid-day and arrived at 8.00pm!!

So, I have done touristy things in London - zoo, museum, gallery. And of course - clubbing in the evening.
The dilemma - I hook up with someone and have a bit of fun (including some willy fun - it was a club in Kings Cross!). Nice guy. Do I say to them, "Hey, I have a profile - islingtonorgy. Come along!"?

I have been tempted a couple of times in the past, but I have never told anyone that I run this orgy. It would just sound too tragic. "My profile name is orgy ... islingtonorgy."

It's never a good idea to say these things when you've had a couple of drinks. I've fallen into the texting trap after a night out. It seems like a good idea at the time, but end up mortified in the morning.

But, now it is morning - I wish I'd said something. If you're reading this, I'm the one you said had massive balls (I thought he said magic). Come along!! For the benefit of readers, I also have a massive cock :)

I walked back from Kings Cross to Islington. I think it was the cruisiest walk home I've ever had. 90% in my own head, I'm sure. But one guy asked me if I thought his friend was good looking. Another asked if I had a Rizla (no) and another asked if I had a mobile phone battery!!

40 years since the legalisation of homosexuality, and now it's everywhere. Hurrah.

The 'rules'

I have some basic rules and criteria that I use to evaluate a profile and decide whether I send them an invite. I am quite rigid with these rules and don't let my cock rule my head when making decisions.

I know that I can come across as completely inflexible, but that's because I am!

DT: How do I compare?

DT: hi by the way!

hi

DT: hello

ok - I only invite profiles with safe sex always. Soz

DT: wait a sec

DT: my profile doesn't have a safe sex bit

DT: my pal helped me set this up

DT: u mean I have to write in my profile that I only do safe sex? Its not a sex profile so I didnt think I would have to put that....

DT: well thanx for the indepth chat...dont think i would want to risk myself going to a strnagers place anyway if he cant even chat for a few minutes

there's not alot I can say. I have politely said no and explained why

DT: I understand, I just don't see what I am getting turned down 4

DT: if its my looksyou can just say..

If you read my profile or blog you will see that safe sex is something I insist on

DT: Only if I wrote I only do safe sex on my profile it wouldnt really fit in with my profile

As part of your 'personal information' there is a safe sex option

you have not filled that in as always

DT: oh ok..well that's easy to explain..i didnt know it was an option

DT: im hardly gonna go to a group sex for the first time and not use a condom! lol

DT: but I see yr point

DT: (sorry kinda learning as I go along)

ok, no worries - but as you said yourself, I am inviting strangers

and so have to have some sort of handle on them from their profile

DT: thats ok i wont hassle you

DT: I am just annoyed i missed out coz of summit I didnt know I could do

DT: my mate set it up I just sat there nodding (in a daze)

DT: out of interest ... would I have got turned down anyway?

DT: be honest

DT: then I will leave you alone

your age range is a little out of sync with 18-40, but your profile reads well and you are good looking

DT: well I prefer 35 max really

DT: but thankyou for the compliment

DT: Well since you wont invite me ...if you were me .. where would u go now to try and get an invite to a safe party?

ah, i'm not sure - you could have a look in group room

DT: yeh its kinda scary lol

DT: think maybe i am not cut out for this b4 I even get to try lol

DT: I am much better in person than at this cyber ...

DT: well thanx for talking to me

DT: can I ak onemore thing ... how does it start?

DT: I mean is it not awkward at the beginning?

if you read the blog, I have a couple of entries on that point!

DT: i did read it

DT: (boy u are just waiting to tell me off huh lol)

20/5-27/5 archive Twister

DT: wow

DT: well .. if you change your mind and want to give me a chance

DT: and help a lad fulfill a fantasy please let me know

DT: I am genuine

DT: hope you can see that maybe a little in my profile

i know, I just have to stick to my 'rules'. It's nothing personal

DT: what if I found a way to put this thing you want in my profile?

DT: (I can ring my friend)

I get that alot

DT: well you have to be fair..the rules are harsh for a new lad trying to learn!

I appreciate that you are new to the profile - but I see it as so important that I can't imagine not having it on the profile

you must have seen it on other peoples

DT: I honestly didn't know it was an option

DT: never noticed, I may be gullible but I didn't think that was something people would NEED to point out

if someone has 'rather not say' or 'sometimes' or 'never', i would not meet them (in real life or in orgy)

DT: always thought genuine people did safe sex

DT: I agree...

you'd be surprised

DT: I am now!

if you read the Attitude article on orgies, you will seethat alot have unsafe sex

DT: hell no

DT: Id be out the door b4 I took off my coat!

DT: well, I am not sure what I can say .. kinda hoped you would maybe notice in sum way I would be a good genuine person to have along .. anf not punish me totally for that little error (always was crap at filling in forms)

DT: OH FOUND IT

DT: HORRAY

DT: Now how is your memory and can we start again?

soz, I know I can come across as harsh/brusque but I have to be

DT: tis true u do a bit

It has worked well for me and resulted in the orgies that I want (and others seem to enjoy)

DT: i am just playing

so I'm going to stick to the (slightly harsh) formula

DT: sounds like u have a great set up

DT: really?

DT: ......

yes

DT: well guess I wasn't yr type at all then huh lol .. cant believe ive been turned down

DT: coz u think I may be unsafe

DT: ME ... and this was gonna be the most risky thing i have ever done

DT: how ironic

:)

DT: the one time I actually try and do summit risky

DT: I get turned down coz of a profile box

DT: when you could get proper men, who are positive or unclean just tick that box (coz they know gaydar better than me) and they get invited

proper men?

DT: sorry i meant .. positive lol

DT: told u this cyber was new to me

DT: (this is my longest msn chat ever)

DT: lol

haha, well I'm afraid I need to go now

DT: k



He changed his profile to safe sex 'always' during our conversation. He has now removed this and is looking for 1-1 sex with nothing on the safe sex bit. I guess he's now learnt how to update his profile to reflect what he wants.

I'm going to stick to the rules. The guys who are invited can be sure that I have not compromised on the quality or standards that have made the orgy a success to date.

Tell me why

I dread the question, 'Could you tell me why you've turned me down?' It's often followed by the promise, 'Tell me honestly, I won't be annoyed.'

This is a tricky question to answer. I really don't want to offend anyone. In fact I try to be polite at all times, what ever the provocation. So how do you answer this question?!

When there is an obvious reason I will give it e.g. if the profile does not have safe sex always, has no detail on their profile or no face pics. There are also times when I really don't think the guy would enjoy it - if they seem to be into a 'scene' that isn't reflected in this orgy. (Guys in rubber masks will sometimes respond to this with, 'I like vanilla too')

However, it is often the case that the guy just doesn't meet the standard of the guys who come. How do you say that politely? You will see from the post 'I said no, no, no' that sometimes I do say this - but only if pushed. More often I don't respond to the question. I'm not being rude, I'm trying not to be rude!

No-one has ever asked why they have been chosen!

I don't want your money, honey

A number of guys ask me how much it is to attend Islingtonorgy. The answer is nothing. It's free. It's not a commercial venture, I do it for fun - for the guys who attend and, of course, for myself.

At the May orgy, one of the guys attending was telling me that I should ask people for a contribution as I have to pay out for condoms, lube and beer. I just don't feel comfortable asking for money - in my mind it would push the orgy from being a bit of fun to being a commercial venue where I had an obligation to people.

In the invite I tell the guys that if they want to bring condoms or drink then that's great - and it's nice when people do, I appreciate it.

The same thoughts run through my head when a commercial profile asks to come along. Often the guys are great looking (not always though! And sometimes without even a face pic!), and will say that they would not be coming in a commercial capacity. I just worry that there could be some misunderstanding - by them, by me or by the other guys.

I send the profiles of the guys who came to the guys who attended the orgy (unless asked not to). What would the other guys think if there was a commercial profile included? Did the host pay them to come? Did they get it on with me because he had paid them?

Thankfully my reservations about inviting commercial profiles has not had any impact on the quality of the orgies. There are plenty of good looking guys looking to come along.

I don't want your money - I want your enthusiasm, full involvement and perhaps a thanks afterwards.

Mr Orgy

I received an email from someone who came to the May orgy

I noticed that he had left early and didn't look like he was enjoying. And I was right - but his write up of the evening is a really enjoyable read.

Hi there I wrote this a while ago, and thought you might enjoy it. It's less a review of your orgy than it is some half-arsed attempt at self-analysis, but I had fun writing it.

Hope the orgies are still going well, and maybe I'll see you around one day. Buy a bigger flat!

Last month, I was invited to an orgy. Interestingly enough, it fell on the same night as a friend's engagement party. Being a Gemini, I decided to try and take my multi-tasking skills to a new level and attempt to go to both events - coordinating very different wardrobe changes and man bag contents - in the same night.

The orgy was being hosted by someone who I met on the internet a few months ago (let's call him Mr Orgy), whose profile advertised regular sex parties at his flat in Islington. The party was by invitation only, and limited to around 30 guests. To be invited, you had to send an online message to Mr Orgy, and make sure that your dating profile contained a clear, recently taken face pic. The age range was reasonably open (late teens to late 30s) but preference would be given to "clean cut, boy next door types" and guys who were fit and slim. Well, fair enough, really - if you're going to invite 30 strangers around to ejaculate on your living-room carpet, you have the right to be picky about who's joining you.

I've had a couple of interesting encounters with threesomes before, but I hadn't been in an orgy situation for over 10 years, when I accidentally wandered into the Leather tent at Sydney Mardi Gras in 2000. As I'm now a working professional, I knew I had to approach it with a little more care and diplomacy than when I was a student. Reassuringly, Mr Orgy seemed, sensible, discerning and appropriately middle-class, and had some guidelines to his event (including no photographs allowed, no prior release of names of attendees, and no smoking or drugs) that seemed to be designed to make the event fun AND safe. The invitation specified that the event was mostly vanilla (meaning no kinky stuff like S&M, fisting, piss or being forced to lick cream off someone's knee-high black stiletto boots), and that safe sex would be encouraged. (I'm not sure how our host planned to monitor this, but I imagined someone would get a firm spank on the bottom if there were any unsheathed willies going up bottoms).

So, I put in my invitation request, and a week or two later, got a cheery, Ladies Home Journal-esque message back saying that I'd been invited from a longlist of over 70 people. Well, it wasn't exactly the Booker Prize shortlist, but I was in. Trite though it seemed, we single girls are, all of us, seeking some kind of validations of our own attractiveness, and part of the intrigue of this event was around the challenge of getting shortlisted, Miss World-style, to make it to the swimsuit section (or in this case, the no-swimsuit section).

The instructions in the invitation were extremely detailed. The date was set for a Saturday night, and we were to arrive at Mr O's flat between 6pm and 6.30pm. If we rang the door bell after 6.45pm, we wouldn't be allowed in. While it sounded anally retentive, it also made sense - you don't really want to be answering the door when you're in the middle of a double penetration. Mr O didn't give us his mobile number, so there was no opportunity for last minute cancellation (or, I guess, drunken early morning phone calls months later). We were told that when we arrived, we would need to strip down to our underwear (bags and a cupboard would be provided for storage) and then go into the living room. We were expected to be polite and socialise, not to take a dump on the carpet, and to let ourselves out quietly so as not to disturb the neighbours. We all had to be out by 11pm, presumably so he could fumigate the house sufficiently before sunrise. Most interestingly, we were told that once we'd attended, we'd be welcome to apply to come to a subsequent orgy, but if we didn't turn up without giving a prior apology, we'd be sin-binned forever. Napoleon couldn't have planned a military operation with more cut-throat efficiency.

With two gigs in one night, I was faced with some tricky strategic decisions. Being a weekend, the tube lines were down, including the Northern Line which would've connected me straight from Angel (where the orgy was) to London Bridge and the South Bank (where the engagement party was). There was a replacement bus, but then again, did I really want to sit on a bus covered in dried jism on my way to an engagement party? What was in my wardrobe that I could wear to an orgy, fold and put in a bag for three hours and then pull out and wear convincingly to an engagement party? I decided that it would just be too gross to go directly to the engagement party without showering first, and as the shower at Mr O's house was likely to be filled with naked frat boys, it would be better just to go home. As that plan added at least an hour and a half to my travel plans, I was faced with either doing a quick Suck-and-Go at the orgy and leaving earlier than planned, or arriving very late to the party.

The Day of the Orgy came around, and I felt slightly nervous. The situation felt safe enough, but there was the fear of the unknown, coupled with the omnipresent fear of being rejected in a very open and social situation. Inevitably, I turned to a critical self-inspection in the mirror. Hmmm. Pigeon chest, stick arms, a growing muffin top around my middle, slumped shoulders and skin pale and untanned from a lifetime spent indoors sitting on my ass in front of a computer screen. I'd advertised myself (and presumably attracted Mr O's interest) because I was boy-next-door material, but could I still pull that off at almost 32? (My internet profile photos were a couple of years old, taken after I'd come back from three months travelling through India, when I had the ass of a twelve year old girl). More to the point, would I want to pass myself off as boy-next-door, or anything? I've always assumed I'm kinda cute in a geeky way, but in an orgy situation, there was little opportunity to try and be funny or talk a lot or disguise my own nervousness with my intellect, which is what I usually try and do in unfamiliar social situations. That's what I like about sex - the ability to just react physically and let the intellect take a back seat - but what's terrifying about sex as well, at least with strangers. But I figured that I wasn't exactly in troll territory just yet, and that the feelings of nervousness would probably be common, and that years of drama training and a strategically sucked-in stomach will probably see me through.

By about four o'clock that afternoon, I had a major change of heart. What was I doing, wasting my Saturday afternoon and most of my evening going to a sex party? I was reminded of Quentin Crisp's dictum that if gay men stopped having so much sex, they'd have enough spare time on their hands to take over the world, and wondered - yet again - what I could be doing with my time instead of trawling for stray cock. I thought briefly about emailing Mr O and cancelling, and going to the engagement party with a clear conscience and uncorruptibly clean knickers. Exactly what convinced me to go I can't quite remember, but I suspect it was mostly curiousity, a knowledge that even if it was disastrous, it would make good copy, and that it was an anthropological experience I needed to cross off my sex list before my ass started sagging down around my knees.

I tried to time my departure time so I could get there on time, but not arrive too early. When I made it to the street corner, I saw a couple of improbably pretty looking boys standing nervously outside the pub on the corner. Bingo. I swept by them with a meaningful glance in their direction, went around the corner and rang a doorbell. Sure enough, within thirty seconds they were standing behind me. We made some kind of feeble smalltalk as we waited to be buzzed in about whether or not it was our first time at one of these things. For some reason, I made up a story about having once lived in New York and going to orgies there (a story I borrowed from a friend) so I could try and sound more experienced and less like a nervous shaking puppy, though I suspect just made me sound like a diseased slag.

Our host, Mr O, let us in. He was, exactly as he was pictured on his profile - youngish, boyish, chirpy and with a rather fetching Scottish accent. He ushered us into his bedroom, where he took our names (neatly typed up on a clipboard) and invited us to strip down to our undies, hang our clothes in the closet and "just come through" to the living room to get a drink. He had the smooth assurance of a 50s society hostess in an old Douglas Sirk movie, or maybe a coked up British Airways trolley dolly.

So, taking a deep breath (and tensing my abs) I went into the living room, with the young guy from the street corner creeping nervous in behind me. The living room was packed and very humid, with around 18 men sitting in a circle on the floor in their boxer shorts around a large king-sized white duvet. Everyone raised their heads to look at us, and then dropped their gaze just as quickly, so as not to appear too interested. We headed for the kitchen to get a beer, and then I found an empty space in the circle to go and sit down, sitting rather defensively with my legs crossed in front of me.

Things seemed to be taking rather a while to heat up, and so we sat on and on in our circle of skank, nervously trying to make smalltalk. Scanning around the room, I noticed that most of the invitees were a little younger than me - around 27 to 28, mainly, and most of them were pretty toned and had tans varying from Boots Spray-on Orange to Ibiza Gold. Inevitably, the crowd starting segregating according to body type. The muscle boys moved into the kitchen, where, standing up, their physiques could be better admired, I guess, and drank beer and traded tips about high protein diets. Back in the Circle of Sin, I was sitting next to a very cute Canadian photographer, who fell into the nervous-but-curious category the rest of us seemed to be in.

6.45pm struck. Well, we assumed so - there were no clocks around, and I'd taken off my watch in case someone chewed through the strap and stole it in the throes of action, but we figured it was showtime as Mr O had come back into the living room, this time stripped down to his undies. The drinking and stilted conversation continued, until someone switched the iPod to Madonna's Confessions on a Dancefloor, which was clearly a sign that things were going downhill.

Twenty minutes later, nothing had happened, though the sexual tension (and the room temperature) had risen to feverish levels. Ever the boy scout trouper, Mr O suggested a game to get us more in the mood. He asked us to turn over the big white duvet on the living room floor... to reveal two giant Twister duvet covers. Naked Twister?

Well, it started innocently enough. Left hand on blue, right leg on yellow. As we progressed, it became left leg on green and right hand on someone's arse (you get the idea). After a couple more yoga permutations, we ran out of spots (and arses) to put our hands on, and the whole thing erupted. Everyone pretty much leapt on each other, Madonna kept wailing, and we were away racing.

Through it all, Mr O continued to be a very considerate host, and certainly worked the room. Clothed or not, he certainly had the ability to make people feel welcome and comfortable, without seeming insincere or sleazy, which is no small effort. Mr O has been keeping his own blog about his sex parties, which he's been running regularly for over a year now. They're very wittily written (think Jane Austen meets Playboy) and I'm sure there's probably a book in there somewhere: The Story of O with Twister duvets and Stella Artois instead of soft focus lighting and big 70s Farrah Fawcett hair. I say Jane Austen because the blog is primarily concerned with chronicling some of the more appaling cases of bad manners that Mr O encounters in organising his parties. Despite being very clear about the kind of gig he's organising and what the rules are, he gets some pretty hostile emails, mostly from disgruntled gay boys who hadn't been invited. It's well worth a read.

About 15 minutes into the action, I realised it just wasn't working for me. There were only about three guys who I was really attracted to (none of whom paid me the slightest attention) and try as I may, I couldn't seem to break into any of the little piles of arms, legs, panting tongues and thrusting crotches that were developing around the room. A couple of guys sucked my cock, more out of politeness more than any real enthusiasm. There's something vaguely depressing about someone sucking your cock as an act of politeness. I realise that orgies are supposed to be all about the randomness of the experience and the anything-goes nature of connecting, but for me, this time anyway, it didn't work. I suspect it may have been more about where I'm at with sex at the moment (losing interest in casual sex, possibly moving more towards looking for a partner). In any case, I wasn't having the kind of frenzied, I-have-to-have-you-now-on-the-Ikea couch sex that seemed to be happening all around me. Strangely, I had a flashback to Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, commenting to Mr Darcy about their being the kind of people who don't expect to say anything unless it will dazzle the entire room. I'm with you, Lizzy. What's the point of being at an orgy if you're not the centre of attention?

I never expected to have this kind of revelation (or a Jane Austen flashback) at an orgy, but there it was. Standing in the hot sweaty room with my undies around my ankles, it was basically the same as when I was six - I was in the sandpit but noone wanted to play with me.

I extracted myself from a ham sandwich of sweaty 20somethings, and took myself into the bedroom to change. Three boys were on the bed, about to get down to a very noisy butt-fucking session, so I grabbed my clothes and crept into the bathroom. There was a knock on the door, and a Permatanned Israeli with a Pamela Anderson barbed-wire tattoo on his bicep asked if he could come in while I was changing. It seemed no more insane a suggestion than the one I was already in, so he sat on the toilet and peed and chatted away while I put my boots on. He was one of the muscle boys who'd been hanging out in the kitchen, and I think I'd chatted to him on the internet months ago, where he'd blown me off derisively for not having a six pack. In the (weird) intimacy of the bathroom, he was, surprisingly, rather nice. He asked me if I was ok, which I was, despite being locked in the bathroom in Islington with a peeing stranger. He told me that I was cute (a little ego massaging always helps) and suggested I stay and see what happened. Like Blanche du Bois, I have always relied on the kindness of strangers, and I appreciated his little gesture of support. It's encouraging to think that gay men aren't the pack of vicious bitches we expect them to be all the time. But by that stage, my brogues were on, and the toilet boy had already started kissing someone else and getting his arse fingered, so it seemed the perfect time to leave. I let myself out, and paused briefly to listen to the grunting and panting inside. God knows what the neighbours were thinking.

I walked out into the sunset, and realising that while I'd been inside in a naked sweatshop, the rest of London was getting on with their Saturday night. The walk to the bus stop felt a little like a walk of shame from my university days (before I started working and got to work my way up to a taxi of shame). I felt the mixture of embarassment and smugness I usually feel when I've been doing something filthy. Then at the bus stop, I started to cry. If my life was a movie (which I often imagine it is), this would be the moment of breakthrough, where I see the error of my ways and turn back to the path of righteousness. My realisation wasn't as black-and-white as that. It wasn't that the party was sleazy (which it was, in a good way, which I think was the fun of it), or degrading (which it wasn't) but that it was - for me, anyway - a non-starter.

By the time I made it to the engagement party, the whole evening had become an anecdote, complete with punchline, that I enjoyed entertaining and pseudo-shocking my liberal straight friends with. With enough fine-tuning, the most awful of evenings can become a cocktail party filler. This is one of my coping mechanisms - to take life's lemons and turn it into comic lemonade, and hopefully still be able to laugh at myself.

So what, if anything, did I learn from this slap-and-tickle session? Well for starters, I'd definitely recommend Mr Orgy's gatherings to any other horny boy-next-door types who are keen to play nude Twister with strangers on their weekends. I'm vaguely reassured that, as our host proved, humour and good sense can co-exist along with a good hard spit-roasting. And I'm also pleased to report that public transport in North London is frequent and reliable, despite Tube repairs. With the benefit of hindsight and a freshly laundered pair of pants, I can happily admit that had I left some of my neuroses at the door and "mucked in" a little more enthusiastically with the rest, I may have had more fun and not been left crying at the bus stop. Then again, maybe I needed to. A wise (if somewhat depressing) friend of mine once told me that I have rivers more to cry yet before my lifespan is over, with a bit more laughter thrown in as well. So, maybe I should look on this as a cheap alternative to therapy, and get on with crying me a river.

Maybe I'll make it back to the orgy. Maybe I'll fall in love with a hairy-chested neurosurgeon and become a trophy wife. Maybe I'll move to New York and become a pole dancer. Maybe I'll become a Proustian recluse and sleep in a cork-lined room and collect my pee in milk bottles. Who can tell?