The 'rules'

I have some basic rules and criteria that I use to evaluate a profile and decide whether I send them an invite. I am quite rigid with these rules and don't let my cock rule my head when making decisions.

I know that I can come across as completely inflexible, but that's because I am!

DT: How do I compare?

DT: hi by the way!

hi

DT: hello

ok - I only invite profiles with safe sex always. Soz

DT: wait a sec

DT: my profile doesn't have a safe sex bit

DT: my pal helped me set this up

DT: u mean I have to write in my profile that I only do safe sex? Its not a sex profile so I didnt think I would have to put that....

DT: well thanx for the indepth chat...dont think i would want to risk myself going to a strnagers place anyway if he cant even chat for a few minutes

there's not alot I can say. I have politely said no and explained why

DT: I understand, I just don't see what I am getting turned down 4

DT: if its my looksyou can just say..

If you read my profile or blog you will see that safe sex is something I insist on

DT: Only if I wrote I only do safe sex on my profile it wouldnt really fit in with my profile

As part of your 'personal information' there is a safe sex option

you have not filled that in as always

DT: oh ok..well that's easy to explain..i didnt know it was an option

DT: im hardly gonna go to a group sex for the first time and not use a condom! lol

DT: but I see yr point

DT: (sorry kinda learning as I go along)

ok, no worries - but as you said yourself, I am inviting strangers

and so have to have some sort of handle on them from their profile

DT: thats ok i wont hassle you

DT: I am just annoyed i missed out coz of summit I didnt know I could do

DT: my mate set it up I just sat there nodding (in a daze)

DT: out of interest ... would I have got turned down anyway?

DT: be honest

DT: then I will leave you alone

your age range is a little out of sync with 18-40, but your profile reads well and you are good looking

DT: well I prefer 35 max really

DT: but thankyou for the compliment

DT: Well since you wont invite me ...if you were me .. where would u go now to try and get an invite to a safe party?

ah, i'm not sure - you could have a look in group room

DT: yeh its kinda scary lol

DT: think maybe i am not cut out for this b4 I even get to try lol

DT: I am much better in person than at this cyber ...

DT: well thanx for talking to me

DT: can I ak onemore thing ... how does it start?

DT: I mean is it not awkward at the beginning?

if you read the blog, I have a couple of entries on that point!

DT: i did read it

DT: (boy u are just waiting to tell me off huh lol)

20/5-27/5 archive Twister

DT: wow

DT: well .. if you change your mind and want to give me a chance

DT: and help a lad fulfill a fantasy please let me know

DT: I am genuine

DT: hope you can see that maybe a little in my profile

i know, I just have to stick to my 'rules'. It's nothing personal

DT: what if I found a way to put this thing you want in my profile?

DT: (I can ring my friend)

I get that alot

DT: well you have to be fair..the rules are harsh for a new lad trying to learn!

I appreciate that you are new to the profile - but I see it as so important that I can't imagine not having it on the profile

you must have seen it on other peoples

DT: I honestly didn't know it was an option

DT: never noticed, I may be gullible but I didn't think that was something people would NEED to point out

if someone has 'rather not say' or 'sometimes' or 'never', i would not meet them (in real life or in orgy)

DT: always thought genuine people did safe sex

DT: I agree...

you'd be surprised

DT: I am now!

if you read the Attitude article on orgies, you will seethat alot have unsafe sex

DT: hell no

DT: Id be out the door b4 I took off my coat!

DT: well, I am not sure what I can say .. kinda hoped you would maybe notice in sum way I would be a good genuine person to have along .. anf not punish me totally for that little error (always was crap at filling in forms)

DT: OH FOUND IT

DT: HORRAY

DT: Now how is your memory and can we start again?

soz, I know I can come across as harsh/brusque but I have to be

DT: tis true u do a bit

It has worked well for me and resulted in the orgies that I want (and others seem to enjoy)

DT: i am just playing

so I'm going to stick to the (slightly harsh) formula

DT: sounds like u have a great set up

DT: really?

DT: ......

yes

DT: well guess I wasn't yr type at all then huh lol .. cant believe ive been turned down

DT: coz u think I may be unsafe

DT: ME ... and this was gonna be the most risky thing i have ever done

DT: how ironic

:)

DT: the one time I actually try and do summit risky

DT: I get turned down coz of a profile box

DT: when you could get proper men, who are positive or unclean just tick that box (coz they know gaydar better than me) and they get invited

proper men?

DT: sorry i meant .. positive lol

DT: told u this cyber was new to me

DT: (this is my longest msn chat ever)

DT: lol

haha, well I'm afraid I need to go now

DT: k



He changed his profile to safe sex 'always' during our conversation. He has now removed this and is looking for 1-1 sex with nothing on the safe sex bit. I guess he's now learnt how to update his profile to reflect what he wants.

I'm going to stick to the rules. The guys who are invited can be sure that I have not compromised on the quality or standards that have made the orgy a success to date.

Tell me why

I dread the question, 'Could you tell me why you've turned me down?' It's often followed by the promise, 'Tell me honestly, I won't be annoyed.'

This is a tricky question to answer. I really don't want to offend anyone. In fact I try to be polite at all times, what ever the provocation. So how do you answer this question?!

When there is an obvious reason I will give it e.g. if the profile does not have safe sex always, has no detail on their profile or no face pics. There are also times when I really don't think the guy would enjoy it - if they seem to be into a 'scene' that isn't reflected in this orgy. (Guys in rubber masks will sometimes respond to this with, 'I like vanilla too')

However, it is often the case that the guy just doesn't meet the standard of the guys who come. How do you say that politely? You will see from the post 'I said no, no, no' that sometimes I do say this - but only if pushed. More often I don't respond to the question. I'm not being rude, I'm trying not to be rude!

No-one has ever asked why they have been chosen!

I don't want your money, honey

A number of guys ask me how much it is to attend Islingtonorgy. The answer is nothing. It's free. It's not a commercial venture, I do it for fun - for the guys who attend and, of course, for myself.

At the May orgy, one of the guys attending was telling me that I should ask people for a contribution as I have to pay out for condoms, lube and beer. I just don't feel comfortable asking for money - in my mind it would push the orgy from being a bit of fun to being a commercial venue where I had an obligation to people.

In the invite I tell the guys that if they want to bring condoms or drink then that's great - and it's nice when people do, I appreciate it.

The same thoughts run through my head when a commercial profile asks to come along. Often the guys are great looking (not always though! And sometimes without even a face pic!), and will say that they would not be coming in a commercial capacity. I just worry that there could be some misunderstanding - by them, by me or by the other guys.

I send the profiles of the guys who came to the guys who attended the orgy (unless asked not to). What would the other guys think if there was a commercial profile included? Did the host pay them to come? Did they get it on with me because he had paid them?

Thankfully my reservations about inviting commercial profiles has not had any impact on the quality of the orgies. There are plenty of good looking guys looking to come along.

I don't want your money - I want your enthusiasm, full involvement and perhaps a thanks afterwards.