Sunday, 5 August 2007

True lies

Hello, I've read some bits of your blog and found it interesting and, to be honest, a little bit - I can't quite think of the right word - dishonest I suppose. You devote quite a lot of space to describing the reaction from disgruntled refuseniks to your parties. Are you sure you don't get some sort of gratification from dishing out the red cards and then recording the angry response in such detail? I may of course be quite wrong and talking bollocks, in which case please accept my apologies in advance! x

Is the blog dishonest? It's an interesting question - an aspect of which I have been thinking about recently.

In terms of the information and the messages/conversations that I relay here, it is completely honest. I do edit slightly the information to protect identities of individuals.

Do I try to provoke a response in order to document it? No, I try to turn people down politely in messages or in chat. I do use a 'standard' message when turning down guys:
Hey, thanks for message - you don't quite fit what we're looking for, sorry. No offence meant, hope none taken.
Not the most fluent of messages, but I'm really not trying to upset people and I still feel guilty turning them down. (Now I have posted this, I suppose I may as well use the standard turn down message - but I've come to realise that a huge number of guys applying have not actually read the blog.)

This is a fairly innocuous message, but not impolite - therefore the rude responses that I receive would always amaze me - which was one of the reasons that I decided to start a blog (it's not something I can share openly with others!). I learnt to see the funny side of the responses, and hoped that others would too.

In the conversations that I have posted here, you will notice that after I have said 'no', I don't really say that much - I get alot of messages and try to deal with each quickly. However I do answer peoples questions - I don't like to ignore people.

I admit that there are times when I can be brusque (I call it business like - others have called it rude), this is only when people are being deliberately obtuse or time wasting.

However - do the conversations and messages that I post here represent the interactions that I have with the vast majority of guys? Definitely not. And in that respect, the blog probably is dishonest.
It may give the impression that organising this orgy is a constant world of strife. It's not.
The vast majority of guys I turn down don't respond rudely - in fact many are very understanding. I have amusing conversations with guys, interesting exchanges and regular banter. There are lots of great guys on gaydar and I have alot of fun in talking to these guys and hosting the orgy.

So that's what I have been thinking about - should I reflect the high points more in the blog? I shall try.
The trouble is, the messages that I have been receiving from people have been commenting that the conversations/messages are the most amusing bits (rather than my random thoughts), which is why I have been reflecting these in the blog recently.

Readers thoughts are welcome!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The refuseniks' tantrums are really entertaining, but in Big Brother freak-show sort of way. I think we'd all miss them.

However for those of us who can't make the guest list, the random thoughts are illuminating (and generally better composed) - so I'd say the balance is about right.

And selection is NOT the same as dishonesty - except if you're really Alistair Campbell...

Anonymous said...

You should write a book, I'd buy it. Let me know if you need an editor! Take care. Mark_2904@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Ta for replying so thoughtfully to my original comment. I sort of see what you're saying and agree with drewswlon that the tantrums are entertaining, albeit in a toe-curling way. Having devoted some time to thinking about your dilemma about letting people down nicely I have a suggestion. When the cricket umpire isn't sure whether a batsman is out or not he refers the decision to the third umpire. This guy reviews the action on video and then sends his decision to the main screen in the stadium for the crowd to enjoy: IN! or OUT! is flashed up. It would simplicity itself to find these images online and send them to the lucky and unlucky boys on gaydar. This, of course, has the added appeal of being a fun yet efficient way of giving them the news.

Islington orgy said...

Hey - thanks for your comments guys.

Now I can tell you that if I sent guys a message saying OUT! that I would provoke some pretty furious responses! You asked if I was trying to provoke negative responses to be able to post them? The answer was 'no' but if I wanted to generate more fury then I will use your suggestion!

I thought that you were going to suggest that I use the gaydar population as an umpire - they can decide whether they are in or out. That would be a whole new website!

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I like the way this is organised!
You gotta be a pretty good manager!
And hey, this blog knows my name?
I don't remember myself registering here and yet, it does have my name there...
Well done!